One time I heard my boyfriend had sex with another girl. So I called and asked him about it and he denied it, so I called the girl and she denied it too, and then I called my boyfriend back and told him that the girl had told me everything and he replied with “it was just one time. It meant nothing.” And then I replied with “fuck you, she didn’t tell me anything.” And that’s still my favorite story to tell.
what if you scrolled past one of those posts that said “like if you love god, scroll down if you love satan” and then a day later you get a call and you pick up the phone and a gruff voice on the other end goes “i heard that you loved me and i just want to say that no one has ever loved me before” and then you guys go on a date and eventually get married and you become queen of hell.
a dream come true
when I was little, I went through a phase where I’d wear my Spiderman costume under all my clothes, so I wore it for about 3 years straight and my mom never found out until one day when we were at a family party, I was wearing the costume under a really fancy and expensive dress, and someone started choking on something so I ripped off the dress to reveal the costume to try and save them, and I think my mom just about had a heart attack